Dull Horor: Creepypasta lifes
by Burningtrashcaninacell
Summary: The CP gang receives a new ally while Lost gets a blast from the past. Mentions of murder, swearing, a OC, and Jeff abuse. Reed Roman belongs to and everyone else belongs to their proper owners.


The Boring lives of Monsters and Killers: Family Reunions and a Cold New Ally

 _Red. I am in a red and silver gray bedroom, decorated in a few video game and movie posters along with a desk with a large cage and a closet there is a small window it's snowing outside. I smell food, I get up from my bed. The hall is short with carpet beneath my bare feet Christmas lights decorated the walls along with art. I walked thorough a living room with dark green couches a flat screen lined the left wall. There was no Christmas tree and all the windows were shut, it looked dark outside_

"Cele?"

 _I spotted a bookcase along the wall filled with thick novels. The smell of food grew closer, I could hear someone humming. I stepped into the kitchen, there was a figure but it's back was facing me as it rummaged around the fridge._

"Cele? Cele?"

 _It looked male from behind with broad shoulders. He was wearing some dark green sweater and brown slacks, he had curly black hair from the back of his head. He began to turn around -_

"CELEBIIIIIIII!" a high-pitched squeal followed by something small slamming into my gut snapped me out of my dream. I groaned in pain as I clutched my stomach "Sweet Christ is that how you wake someone up?!" I said out loud looking up at the culprit who was currently buzzing around like a bee hooked on crack. The small taffy colored onion fairy that was my Celebi named Pixie looked down and smiled excitedly. I could hear my other Pokémon HURRY the Cyndaquil race in his hamster wheel who was squeaking happily about the activity.

" " (WE HAD TO WAKE YOU SILVER) an ominous voice said behind me. It was my third Pokémon (or multiple Pokémon because there were a lot of them) my UNKNOWN. They were floating everywhere surrounding my room which would have scared a normal human to death but I grew used to the floating words on every surface of my living space "What was so important that you had to wake me up?" I asked stretching my bionic legs. I checked my prosthetic arms making sure that no one put silly string in them like last time (Damn that Laughing Jack). " " (WE AND PIXIE HAD A VISION) the letters spoke. "Oh yeah what is it about?" I asked deciding to humor them while putting on my Batman tank top. Usually when either Pixie or the UNKNOWN predicated something in the future it was usually something trivial like when we're running out of butter or who was going to trip over a gator outside the manor.

However, when they both predicted something it usually meant something big was happening like if Zalgo was trying to wreck the world again " " (SOMEONE YOU KNOW IN THE PAST WILL JOIN US TODAY). I thought to myself for a second, someone from my past? I don't remember at all what I was alike when I was alive. The only person I could think of from my past was- a sharp knocking interrupted my train of thought "Hey Lost are you awake? Slenderman called us all in for a meeting." The voice said behind the door "Yeah I'm up give me a second." I responded grabbing my hat and letting Hurry out of his cage. He squeaked happily as he perched on top of my right shoulder. I opened the door, seeing my friend Glitchy Red waiting for me along with a Pikachu with mattered fur, dried blood on its front paws, and glowing rust colored eyes. This was BRVR who smiled at us with his sharp razor like teeth. Glitchy smiled "Your finally awake, you missed out on the who can slash Jeff the most contest." Glitchy Red said humorously I yawned "Who was in it this time?" I asked stepping outside my room several of the UNKNOWN followed me, Pixie floated above our heads waiting impatiently, crossing her arm. "Clockwork and of course Jane and Liu" Glitchy responded he grinned "It ended in a tie before Slenderman called for the meeting." Glitchy added. We started walking together heading towards the meeting room we are chatting about our week and the idiotic drama that happened with our housemates. As we drew closer to the meeting room the UNKNOWN started to click rapidly in excitement and Celebi kept bouncing around in the air.

The meeting room was already packed with most of the monster and killers that made up our housemates minus Slenderman and the three infamous proxies: Masky, Hoodie, and Kate. The room was filled with chatter as me and Glitchy entered. Jeff's torso and back were covered in bloody bandage wraps he was standing up leaning against the wall like a generic bad boy wannabe scowling at Jane, Liu, and Clockwork who sitting next to each other on one couch possibly talking about their score. Ben and Toby were giggling possibly stoned on a loveseat. Laughing Jack was juggling random junk he took from the room while Eyeless was looking at a clipboard sitting on the only singular arm chair. Sally was seated on the ground with a cushion underneath her as she petted both Smile dog and Grinny at the same time while Abandoned Loneliness sat in her lap was laying on the coffee table while Tails Doll perched onto a bookshelf out of the grasp of the blue hedgehog. BRVR hopped off to join his furry friends, I set Hurry down to join him as well. Pixie however was staring at the door at the other end of the room, eyes big in excitement like a child waiting for dessert the UNKNOWN started clicking rapidly and circled around the room. "Guess we're standing then." Glitchy grumbled "As long as we don't stand next to Jeff the shitter" I whispered in his ear which caused him to snort in laughter.

"Does anyone know why we we're called here?" Jeff asked out loud, swatting at one of the UNKNOWN that drifted too close to him. "M-Masky said that we-we're meeting someone wh-who worked with Zalgo." Glitchy Red looked doubtful Toby answered stuttering less than usual which meant Slenderman was nearby. Tails doll tilted his head in confusion "But Slenderman despises Zalgo why would he bring a former associate to us?" Tails Doll asked laughed "isn't it obvious Dolly? Old Slim Jim wants us to torture information out of the demonic shit stain." EXE said. Before Tails could responded the Slenderman, the three missing proxies, and the Rake. The Rake was surprisingly standing up instead of his usual crouching stance which was odd while Masky and Hoodie stood on each of the monster's side in a weird attempt to make a wall while Kate was the only one who stood by Slenderman. I also noticed the UNKNOWN went quiet all their eyes locked onto Slenderman " ." (HE IS HERE) the UNKNOWNS voices said in my head loudly. Pixie's gaze was fixated on the two male proxies and the tall grey skinned monster almost as if she was trying to see through them. Slenderman finally spoke "Good afternoon everyone." He greeted everyone "I am glad you all could come to this unannounced gathering." He continued "Are we really getting someone that used work for Zalgo?" Jane asked skeptical of Slenderman's decision. "That is correct Jane but I can assure you that he willingly left Zalgo's side willing to give us crucial information to defeat him." Slenderman replied truthfully. "But why is Rake here?" Liu questioned him to which Rake responded, "I was the one that told him about the mansion, besides I need to lay low for a few days since I attacked a SCP foundation." The monster explained. "That is a story for another day right now let us welcome our newest ally, Mr. Reed Roman." Slenderman announced as everyone's eyes followed the separation of the two proxies and one monster all eyes on the stranger. The first three things I noticed about him was the mop of unruly black curls that made up him hair. His eyes were different colored, his right one was a forest green color while his left eye was a deep blue color as his gaze observed everyone in the room almost unimpressed with everyone his skin was an olive color. His face was rather intimidating with a long face large cheek bones with a recessed forehead. His face was decorated with freckles that reminded me of brown M&M. His stature was imposing towering most of the human killers and some of the monsters. He was not lean but muscled, like a bouncer or a superhero however his attire was more casual. A blue baggy sweater over a black button up with Oxford blue slacks and black loafers.

He finally spoke "Pleasure to meet you all, my name is Reed and I- "He stopped talking his eyes landed on me. I was hit with a wave of familiarity I started to remember " _It is him It is HIM!"_ that thought kept repeated in my head "Dad?" I said my voice starting to crack I could feel all eyes on me. "Lost?" The man asked sounding in disbelief the UNKNOWN started clicking and screaming in excitement " " (HE IS HERE REED IS HERE FATHER IS HERE) I can hear them say fast in my head while Pixie squealed in delight hugging him while Hurry crawled onto his pant leg. I felt my legs move on their own heading towards him. He pulled me closer holding me tightly hugging me. I felt like a kid who hasn't seen his dad in months tears pouring from my eyes. Unfortunately, our moment was interrupted by an aggravating voice asking, "Ok what the fuck is happening right now?!" Jeff asked a mixture of disgust and annoyance. Reed glared at the scared killer scowling at him "Lost how do you know this guy?" I heard Glitchy asked me. I turned my head to look at my friend "Reed is my dad." I responded with "When you were alive you had a dad?" Liu asked me "No after I became what I am now, Reed found me and raised me." I answered wiping away my tears. Dad ruffled my hair "I taught him everything I know I'm glad you're in good shape, you finally have limbs again." Reed said to me proudly I felt my lips tug upwards in a smile "Well you always said connections would make my life easier." I replied, "What kind of connections?" Slenderman asked the two of us "Connections with the Deep Web, I happen to run a service that requires multiple associates to clear my tracks." Reed answered Eyeless Jack finally spoke up "What type of service do you provide?" the eyeless being asked. "I am the inventor of the Red Room." Reed said honestly Eyeless Jack stared at him in shock "You're THE Red Room creator?" Eyeless Jack asked, "That is correct, in fact I can prove it to you." Reed offered him.

I watched dad hand Eyeless Jack his phone "Click on the red and white app the icon looks like two glasses of alcohol." Reed instructed the organ stealer a small crowd started to form around EJ as he clicked on the app. "It's just a camera facing the back of a chair in this Red Room." Laughing Jack asked sounding bored "Look there's arrows, what do they?" Ben pointed out. "We can change the camera view." EJ muttered "No one has access to these cameras but me." Reed said as EJ handed him back his phone. "If y-you w-worked with Z-Zalgo how come you d-don't have black and r-red eyes?" Toby asked Reed. "For whatever reason, he didn't want me to have any physical anomalies on me he just gave me these." Reed answered by lifting his curly bangs revealing two tiny black curly sticking out of his head. "Enough questioning I am sure Mr. Reed has had an exhausting trip Hoodie please guide him to his new room." Slenderman instructed Hoodie which he compelled "I'll catch up with later Silver." Dad said to me smirking I smiled back "Kay catch up with at dinner." I replied as I watched him walk away.

After Dad finished unpacking, dinner was getting made by Liu and Masky. I had Hurry sitting on my shoulder drawing on my digital tablet while Tails Doll, Sally, LonEliness, and Toby were watching TV everyone was waiting around their rooms when I heard a commotion upstairs." " (FATHER IS KICKING SCARED MONSTER BOY'S ASS) The UNKNOWN screeched into my head giving me a headache. "What's that noise?" Sally asked clutching the Eevee tightly. Tails Doll sighed "It's most likely Reed going through the Trial of Overestimation." Tails doll guessed which made Ben smirk saying to the doll "Bet you 5 bucks that Jeff comes out with a few broken ribs." Tails doll replied "10 bucks says he gets a fractured skull." Tails ups him Liu poked his head out into the living room "Lost, could you check on Jeff and make sure he isn't dead." Liu asked me. "Yeah I'll get him." I responded setting down my tablet and walked towards the stairs. As I traveled up the staircase I heard laughter and Jeff yelling profanities at someone by the time I got to the second floor a small group consisting of Jane, Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack, and Glitchy Red watching Jeff failing to attack dad. Jane and LJ were howling in laughter as they all watched Jeff was swinging his arms around Dad's index finger was placed on Jeff's forehead seemingly stopping the cocky killer from touching him "Jeff stop it, I don't want to waste more medical supplies on you." Eyeless jack said annoyed Red was holding back a smile as he turned to me "Your dad is pretty amazing, so far his passing the Trial of Overestimation but I'm wondering if Jeff can push him over the edge." Glitchy questioned which I warned with "I don't think you want to see Dad when his angry, he doesn't show mercy." Reed yawned "This is Central America's greatest mass killer?" Reed asked out loud bored of his interaction Jeff snapped" YOU-irk-SHOULDN'T-grrr- MESS WITH ME!" I watched Dad flick Jeff's face sending him backwards. Jeff stumbled a bit before charging at Dad, in one fluid motion my father figure moved out of Jeff's way and punched the back of my annoying housemates head making Jeff face first in the ground groaning in pain. Reed grabbed Jeff by the hood of his hoody dragging him to the stairs before pushing him down. I heard the thuds along Jeff's swearing as Dad just walked away ignoring the cries of pain "That was amazing!" Jane said amused by her mortal rival's injuries. I sighed knowing Jeff would try to take revenge for this moment.

Dinner went by uninterrupted only with Jeff glaring at Reed, black eyes filled with revenge while Reed ignored him. Some housemates asked what it was like working with Zalgo (or as drunken Slenderman "Zalgho") "It was like working with a child, whenever he didn't get what he wanted he would throw a fit he never thought ahead of things so it was interesting to watch him get his ass kicked by the oddest of foes." Dad explained "How did you escape Zalgo's grip?" Masky asked which made Reed think for a moment careful choosing his words carefully "Let's just say… he bit off more than he could chew with his last opponent, I took my chance to flee and spent my time looking for Lost and a way to get back on Earth. But at least I found my son." Dad said I could detect a hint of happiness in his tone which made me grin. After dinner, most of the pastas departed to go out on their hunt while I opted to watch Sally so I could spend more time with Dad getting Sally ready for bed was tricky as she kept asking questions "Mr. Reed, what was your job like on Earth?" she asked as I tucked her in "I was a dog trainer for the police." Dad answered, lying with no difficulty "The Red Room is a live stream where dog owners can check up on their pets." Reed added almost reading the girl's mind. "It's time for bed sweetie, Mr. Roman had a pretty exhausting day." I spoke up "Okay night Lost night Mr. Roman." she said closing her eyes cuddling her teddy bear. We both left the room shutting the light off I closed the door turning to face Dad "So what do you think of them?" I asked him about my housemates "Honestly? they are an eccentric bunch but they are amateurs when planning a kill. I'm positive you can give them pointers to be more professional." Dad answered bluntly as we started to walk down the hallway "I tried in the past they just get annoyed though besides it's cleaner just to scare people." I replied "Scaring people? You did more than just give cheap chills to unexpecting players back when you worked alongside me in The Red Room." Dad spoke nostalgically "True but back then we targeted more specific people instead of causing bloodshed through the general population." I retorted "Well we could re-live those memories, make a very new Red Room." Dad offered casually "Since there is no official authority no one can locate us properly and with our powers combined we could make double the amount of shows." He added. I thought about it visualizing me and Dad working together again making double the amount of money, getting rid of twice as many leeches on the Deep Web. Maybe even get rid of some of the bad pastas and members of Zalgo's cult followers would be nice. I smiled and looked Dad straight in the eye "That sounds lovely I'm guessing you already have someone in mind?" I asked knowing what his answer might be. "Well we could start with Jeff, he seems like he would "love" all eyes on him." Dad said beginning to smirk a plan stirring up in his head. My smile shifted into a sly little grin I knew for certain with Dad around now, things would be interesting to around here.

The End for now

(Thanks to Pasta-cannons on Tumblr for the information on Reed's appearance, attire, and attitude. Thanks for waiting so long.)


End file.
